I’ve not blogged for a few weeks because I’ve been dealing with a whole new health situation… I’ve started passing out at various times & I spent a week in hospital.
The doctors ruled out all the scary stuff last week (when a friend found me unconscious on the sofa) but we haven’t landed on an exact diagnoses yet. I’m on some new meds which have made it stop, so we have something workable for now.
This post isn’t about the medical stuff. It’s about restraint. But the context mattered so I figured I’d share it.
For the last few weeks it’s been hard to feel safe.
I’ve passed out multiple times without warning. It happens when I’m sitting and while walking around. I’m already pretty wobbly. Passing out really doesn’t help.
I’m being far more careful with my movement. I’m far less ‘free range’ around the house than before. I’m generally moving between my bed and my big blue chair very carefully… if I’m having a really tricky day I’ll wait till someone can help me.
Okay, so context aside. Here’s the bit about restraint.
I saw a Bluesky post this morning that made me think about restraint in my life for a moment.
Restraint in many situations is bad (especially for neurodivergent kids and young people) but in my current context it’s been positive.
I’ve been ‘staying put’ more (where I only move locations when I’ve agreed it with someone else) and I’ve also been strapped into the blue chair and the buggy more often.
It’s just kinda happening more at the moment. I mostly use the seat straps anyway, but friends are doing up the buckles more often than before. Sometimes I’ve asked. Sometimes they have offered.
Being strapped in by someone else feels very different.
I trust them. It’s a statement of safety. They are strapping me in because it’s safer. They checked. They wouldn’t be strapping me in if they hadn’t already checked the environment was safe.
Even if they then head out somewhere else it feels like I’m in a safe little bubble. I know they checked the oven & locked the doors etc before they left. My brain can safely ignore those things. It helps me to thrive.
I’ll eventually get up and move, but something is defiantly lost. Once I unseal myself from passive safety, I’m taking on the duties of active safety myself. I must start giving brain cycles to it. More than ever now I have to factor in passing out.
As a heavily monotropic person, those cycles may be in very short supply. It’s nice to save them when I can.
So erm. That’s it really. There’s a little update on my health, and a little dive into how restraint works in my life. In the right context (chosen, trusted, unforced & passive) restraint can be kinda helpful.
I hope this is useful to share. Feel free to prod me on Bluesky or email me if you’d like to chat about it. I’d love to know how this works for other folks :)
