My history with ADHD medication goes back a very long way and hasn’t been all that great.
ADHD meds where part of my life when I was in primary school, absent for ~20 years and came back a couple of years ago.
For the past couple of years, the ADHD meds have been a useful tool but a very narrow tool. The situations where they’d be helpful where limited because they tended to cause a really intense depressive crash.
With this in mind, I didn’t use the meds much during the last year. With the pandemic etc, I didn’t have the right environment or energy. The ADHD meds being the wrong tool for the situation.
However, now I have my environments a bit more sorted and I am rebuilding momentum, it seemed a good idea to re-explore the meds. See if we could work out something better.
I really like the doctor I’ve been working with. It’s collaborative in a meaningful way and we have been methodically exploring more options.
For the most parts that’s it really. Trying new things and mildly optimistic.
One of the things about meds is that I always find them as a bit of a challenge to my sense of identity. When using the ADHD meds I am a very different person. It feels alien; Though not always unwelcome.
Some of the meds patterns to explore involve daily meds and very few waking hours which would be unmedicated. I don’t know how I feel about that yet. I’ll need to keep exploring and see what happens.
