It’s 1am and I write this from my hotel bed. I’m staying in a hotel tonight as I am speaking at a conference tomorrow.
I’m positively bubbling with excitement. I’ve had pretty much no functional speech for over 5 months and tomorrow is my best chance yet.
Tomorrow I will be talking about autism and tech at a conference run by the NAS. I’m the keynote speaker! I am going to give a little tour through my life and the tech I use.
I can’t wait. I’m so excited / anxious i can’t sleep. I can’t even lie down in bed. I’m wearing a line in the carpet.
I have good momentum. For weeks I’ve had more and more words in social situations. I’m well supported and there’s no pressure on me. If I can’t speak I have AAC, if I can’t use that I can hide under a table.
I find public speaking easy. It’s an authorised socially acceptable monologue on a topic of my choice.
It has structure via the slides and unlike ‘conversation’ there are very few rules. No one will interrupt me, no one will ask me anything.
But most of all, it does not matter.
What I say on stage will not effect my life or the relationship with those around me.
This is a one off. The room is full of strangers. No matter how badly it goes tomorrow there is no ramifications. If I find I cannot do anything then my line manager is prepped ready to take over.
The stage as they say is mine. I could not be happier or more excited
