All things. Safe & Soft.

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Update: A lot of folks asked me questions on Twitter. I answered some of them in a deeper dive into the topic called ‘littleness and me’

I’ve been meaning to write about this stuff for a while. Probably a year or so, but I got prompted to finally get this post written after speaking to an autism researcher.

They where exploring the topic of autism & kink and I wasn’t sure if I should take part. We had a little discussion about it. It was interesting.

I’m not kinky, as such. I am Jamie and always have been. I am sexual and have a boyfriend, but that’s kinda ‘regular’ gay guy stuff. You don’t need me to elaborate ;)

The overlap between kink and me isn’t in the sexual side. It’s in the soft, cuddly, sensory and safe side of things. If not kink, kink adjacent perhaps.

I spent my early life being told I’d never make any friends if I didn’t ‘grow up’. I’ve never been age appropriate. I sang the Barney theme tune at a talent show when I was 11 and found it joyful.

In my late teen years I encountered the little / babyfur community online and suddenly found that what I do because it’s how my brain works is something other people do for fun.

A community that accepted me as I was and have always been. Welcoming to someone new and happy to hold space while I learnt about myself.

I’m not like any other littles / babyfur I’ve ever talked too. But I’m not like most grown ups either. I sorta occupy a middle space. ‘Being Jamie’

My bed, PJs, buggy, underwear choice and the general lens I use to approach my life is much the same. I solve many challenges in my life with a lens focused on the playful, colourful, soft and joyful. Its always a blend.

I’ve never drawn the threads together here because it didn’t seem needed. I didn’t want to risk someone judging me or assuming something bad.

However, my spinal cord injury is changing stuff. I’ve not changed what I do, but I can be more open talking about it and how it interlinks with other communities and topics.

Life’s too short. I’m already into my borrowed time and I don’t want to waste it carefully checking photos for unexpected cute things in the background.

Hopefully by being open and proud about how I approach my life it will help other people be kinder to themselves. It’s the same message as always. Engineering life by using the tools that work.

Next time you see me at an event I’ll probably arrive dressed as tigger with a big fluffy lion…. Just as I used too :)

A Lion and a Jamie. Bouncing around doing what we do. It’s wild and awesome. Life is very strange right now, but I’ve never been more excited for the future.


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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Jamie: @JamieKnight
Lion: @Lickr