I don’t mind.

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Acceptance is a strange beast sometimes. One of the things I learnt about autistic life is that when I engineer away most of the day to day barriers, I don’t mind all that much why I need the things I need. I just appreciate that I found a way to thrive how I am.

I am slowly reaching a similar position with my mobility.

Something has happened, it’s had a really big impact on my life, but we’re past the initial adjustment period. We’re back into routine. We’re slowly engineering our way through the issues and everyday is becoming less of a challenge.

For example, I can move around my bedroom pretty fluidly using my toe walking. I’ve resolved most of the pain by learning about how to sit and ensuring i sit in ways which are comfortable. I’ve resolved most of the elephants by ensuring my life is as structured and predictable as it can be.

The things I have left to work out are really important. Things like how to return to work, how to ride a bike or how to get around outdoors, but in general all the critical baseline stuff is pretty good.

Whether my body changed because of an injury to my spinal cord, whether this is an intense form of autistic burnout or whether this is something else doesn’t really matter to me.

I’ve reached the point where I don’t mind. This is enough and I can make it work.


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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