In the future...

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Tonight is a bit of an odd one. I’ve had a good week, the two nights with the overnight sleep in lady went well enough. I only got 9 hours sleep by the stability the 10 days before meant i had good momentum.

My friends are away for the week on a much needed holiday. I am staying at thier house alongside thier lovely flatmate.

Generally it’s working. My normal support network is covering most of the day to day care needs.

However, the babysitter has been ill a few days and thats proving difficult. A big change of routine is never easy for me to handle. My body is reacting too it (i’ve had an anxious drained day) but i am trying to keep upbeat. After all, even though my support arrangement has gone a bit wrong, i have a safe default place to be.

A times like this is find it is easy for the frustration to creep in. In effect, due to a factor outside of my control my day’s autonomy has been massively reduced.

I was unable to do the things i wanted to do, and instead spent all my energy trying to stop the anxiety etc from taking over. I have basically spent today making sure the change wont propogate negatively through my week.

So, this post is my attempt to be a bit more upbeat. Yeah, today could have been better, but its just one day.

So, back to the title. In the future.

In the future, i will get the keys to my new flat where i will feel safer. Hopefully keys may even happen this week.

In the future i will finally get out on my bike! I got it repaired ready for the summer late last year but i’ve not ridden it since. Hopefully soon i will find myself with an afternoon, a nice offroad path and the tools to get the final setup and tweaking dialed in. I may even get to bike part wales this year.

In the future i will make it to a team meeting in person in the office. Not just make it, but be able to contribute and then recover in a day or less.

In the future, my speech will return. I am not sure when or how, but once i am settled and the momentum builds and the the anxiety drops, the words will be back.

So, there we go. Today, not great, the future will be awesome. I just have to keep going in order to get there.


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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