Week 15 - Exploring the limits.

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This post was written a few weeks ago and has been posted a week late

I think being curios is a good thing because it makes us want to explore. By exploring we learn and then we can make our lives better.

Last week was really full. I had many adventures big and small and explored lots of limits. Along the way I learnt a few things too.

Adventure To Work.

I love a good adventure. I always have! It’s part of why I love soft play, big playgrounds and code. With those i get to explore and try new things.

I have a very spiky skills profile, one of my weak areas is with travel. I find travel very difficult.

I live a long way from where I work. While I enjoy an adventure I need to make it out the other side and be realistic.

To help me get to work we have arranged Taxis via the access to work scheme.

On Tuesday last week I took a taxi into work. Had a productive and enjoyable day, then took a taxi home.

It was very long and tiring day. We know it’s a hard day so I arranged for extra support and the babysitter visited early so I could have a relaxing evening. In the past after trips the evening has been really hard.

When I got home the babysitter had brought some new bath toys for me to try. I had my bath and dinner and then fell asleep.

The following day I woke up feeling achey but happy. In all it took 2 days before I felt my normal self.

It was a fun adventure I look forward to repeating weekly.

Learning limits

My end goal is to live in my flat alone without needing lots and lots of help.

To do this I will need to learn how to be alone overnight successfully. This includes things like preparing for bed, going to bed, staying in bed and then sleeping.

I’m not very good at these sorts of things but I am learning them.

As a test to see how I was doing I decided to try Friday night home alone.

I didn’t fail because I lasted the whole night without getting hurt or needing any help. These are big achievements.

However I didn’t manage to stay in bed or stay very calm. I got upset and was awake almost all night.

On Saturday I was very very tired. I felt like I had been run over by a small truck. I ached all over and I found doing things hard.

I went to my friends house to sleep a bit and that helped.

Unlike the office adventure this adventure didn’t leave me smiling. I felt upset, and down and scared.

It’s now Monday morning and I am still not feeling very good however I am feeling better everyday. At the current rate I should be back to normal after a few days of routine.

It was useful because I explored a limit and I found some out helpful things.

I learnt that my big safe bed feels much less safe when i am home alone. I also learnt that I don’t have a very good routine for what to do in the lead up to going to bed.

While I didn’t get the outcome I wanted. I came out of the experience well and I did learn useful things.

Next week.

Next week I have two adventures. I have another adventure into work. Very similar to this last weeks adventure, but with a few more meetings.

The second adventure is a bit unknown. My friends are away one night and can’t support me. So I have asked the babysitter if she can stay later. If she can’t, then I will probably go to my friends and be at their house alone. I feel more comfortable alone there than here.

I did have a trip planned but it felt too much so we have pushed it back a bit. I will get there once I am ready.

On Friday we are also meeting social services and an advocate. So hopefully they can help me arrange more support.

Final words

Finding limits is good. It helps me to plan things so the future is more sustainable. It’s not always comfortable, but it is really important long term to know how I should balance pushing forward with taking a rest.


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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