One of the big changes for 2015 was that I started buying in support for myself. We call them babysitters ;) it’s slightly tongue in cheek. Worryingly accurate!
It turned out to be a super smart move. By buying in support I have more autonomy and less dependence on my friends.
So far I have funded all of my support.
I earn a decent salary and it gets split roughly three ways. A third is taxed in order to help others. I spend about a third for my housing (1 bed rental flat) and the final third goes on my support.
I don’t have much left for myself. About 3% of my income is unassigned each month.
When I am down, and stressed I do ask myself what’s the point. 96.2% of my salary goes out the door every month.
But then I think about it differently.
By arranging my own support I have more flexibility. I can choose the providers I like and arrange support for the hours which work for me and around my lifestyle.
I have bad periods, but I am making progress on goals which have eluded me for decades.
The way I see it, the support money is being spent for three major reasons.
It’s an investment in my future. - By investing the time and money now I am learning skills which will be valuable in the future. I hopefully won’t need this level of support forever.
I am investing in my friends and relationships. - If I need less support from my friends the relationships are much easier. Dependency is unhealthy for everyone involved. I am keen to avoid it.
I can’t sustain this forever. My hope is that social services will start paying for some of the critical things (if they could fund the support I need with meals and overnight that would rock!) but I don’t know.
If social services doesn’t help and my friends can’t continue then I might have to rethink entirely.
For now I am going to continue as in. I won’t know till I try and I don’t know what the outcomes will be till we get to them.