Week 10 & 11 - Exhausted.

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This post is going to be bullet brief. I just need to get it written! This is the 5th or 6th draft.

Good things

I started visiting local hub for lunch 3 days a week. It’s nice there. I visit for an hour to 90 minutes. Talking to the staff, eating my lunch then spending 30 minutes in the sensory room before walking home.

Babysitter continues to be amazing. We know the transition between staying with friends at the weekend and staying at my flat during the week is hard. So we’re making it more similar. Same routines, same bedding etc.

Still employed. I’m still holding down my job and sometimes even feel useful.

We have found someone able to do overnight support at a price which is sort of affordable.

My bike is fixed so I can go riding with friends.

I managed to get relaxed enough at home during a babysitter visit I was able to play and for a few hours felt safe and not all under pressure.

We had a positive reply about supported living availability.

Bad stuff.

I am getting more tired every week. I desperately want this to work but I am spending more and more time down and low. Perhaps this is the path to acceptance.

I had meltdowns and a shutdown over the last two weeks. If I get to tired I really struggles.


I’m running out of money and my old flat hasn’t sold yet. It needs too complete by April or I will really get into severe financial difficulty. I don’t even have a buyer yet.

I can just about afford my support month to month. Paying for my rental flat and my support eats 96.2% of my income.

That’s all for now. Goodbye folks!


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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