Week 2 - Going Solo

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Today is the end of my first week in my new flat and it’s been a pretty good week all in.

Of the 7 nights so far, I have done 2 nights alone, 4 with a friend staying and 1 with me staying at a friends.

That’s a good start. Nights alone are still a challenge but no where near the degree of challenge they presented in my old place.

For the next few months I have two main goals:

  1. Going solo every night
  2. Bridging support gaps

Going solo every night is the simplest sounding but probably the harder of the two goals.

The reason why is nights alone don’t seem to give me as many spoons as nights with company. Simply being alone for long periods seems to drain spoons at an alarming rate.

It then has an effect on the next day, less spoons the next day compounds the issue over time.

We’re going to take it slowly and see how things go. We have a solid support base to work from so if I can get too only needing a bit of support mornings and evenings that would be great.

For the evening support we’re going to stick with the babysitter model for now. We have some replies to the advert so we will do interviews this week sometime. In the mean time a friends mum is kindly stepping in to help fill gaps.

The second goal around support gaps is probably less challenging.

Trying to hit 100% reliability for support is hard. It means a group of people and a somewhat rigid timetable.

However hitting 80% is much much easier. If I can get to the stage where a day without support is feasible then it makes managing everything else simpler.

I don’t know exactly what my end goal is.

Completely independent without support may be possible but I am not sure it’s going to be practical while I also manage a full time job.

I would much rather work full time and need some support at home than to work part time just to struggle through ‘independently’. Even if I am worse off financially due to the cost of support.

For both of the goals above its going to take a bit of time to find a pattern.

The general direction is good. I am looking forward to when the babysitters are set up and we can experiment with different support patterns.

I am also hoping that before too long I can use the support to do more things. Like getting back into TaeKwonDo lessons or simply being able to visit the park.

Unlike Harrow, in Romford the pressure is much reduced as I have an abort plan. Rather than struggle through on things, I can stop, take a break and try again when I am ready.

This has proven key and had made a huge difference. The sense of pressure when alone is still there and still a challenge. But it’s not as crushing as it was in the past and that’s a really positive change.


Spaced Out & Smiling is about exploring the fun side of Autism, and trying to understand what it means to be Autistically Happy.

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